Self Reliance

How great would it be, when everybody in the world gives more than he/she receives in all the aspects of life! If only that one cardinal rule is followed the world will be a constantly improving place

Now that I have a lot of friends who have young kids and are trying to inculcate values in them that will shape their lives forever, I can see different patterns. Some patterns are recognizable as inherited as they are things that their parents did with them and hence assumed to be the best possible things.

A lot of people mistake good parenting with being subservient to the kids’ demands. A “no” for something is regarded as a lack of care or resources; more so when it comes to things that your kids’ friends have. Seeing what I have seen around, I think the last thing you would want to happen to you is to be seen as someone not caring about your kid. Most of the times, the conclusion becomes lack of resources and that’s an insult to the ego of parents. It is more common than you think to have parents put their ego (in reality) in front when dealing with such situations. It is easy and guilt free because all the while you are convinced that you are doing the right thing, in fact the best possible thing! However, there lies the catch. In succumbing to any demand your kid makes or anything that is driven out of peer pressure, you are essentially letting someone else drive your parenting. Now that may or may not be the right thing, but the fact remains, you have forsaken your judgment. You have outsourced your thinking and will let others, your peers, decide what you do. This is generally a bad rule in life.

There is however, another class of people, who realize this and let their own principles guide them. They are the ones who would make their kids clean up their own mess whenever possible. They will make them say sorry when they make a mistake and make it known to them what is wrong and what is right. Those guys will do a great job at making independent and self reliant kids. While it may seem that you are helping your kid by doing his/her work or covering or defending their mistakes, it actually weakens them in long run, make them dependent on you and in worse cases make them bad people. I am still surprised by the number of people who would support their argument with, my parents did the same to me as if they are some benchmark of propriety; a gift to mankind. In doing so, they are validating their parents as the best examples of parental care and themselves a perfect specimen that came out as a result of that perfect care.

The new ad by HDFC bucks the trend, and shows the value of self reliance and how you can be caring yet be able to push your kids in the right direction by letting go of the support gently and thoughtfully. A brilliant ad that I am sure is going to catch the attention of a lot of folks.